


That I may live to lose my life

by DrDom



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Episode tag: S4e15 Affliction, Episode tag: S4e16: Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 23:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3152633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrDom/pseuds/DrDom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of 'Affliction' and 'Divergence' leave unfinished business for Archer and Reed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That I may live to lose my life

It was 2am: two hours into gamma shift, the dead time on board _Enterprise_ , and Captain Jonathan Archer walked through the deserted corridors of his ship. Turning into the darkened Mess Hall, it was only after he had dialled up his warm drink that he realised he was not alone.

“Can't sleep?” He sat down next to the figure in shadow.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed looked up slowly. With an obvious effort, he indicated his mug. “Warm milk. Mother's cure-all for insomnia.”

“Is it working?”

Malcolm shrugged.

“Trip mentioned he found you in here late last night as well,” Archer said.

“He suggested bourbon. I declined.”

“Probably wise,” Archer smiled. He sipped his own drink for a moment, then spoke: “So, what's up?”

He could see the astonishment in Malcolm's face as he turned. “ _You_ need to ask me that?”

“That's over, Malcolm,” said Archer, calmly. 

With a sudden burst, Malcolm pushed away from the table and stood with his back to Archer, his face to the star-field outside the long window. From the set of his shoulders Archer could see that, for Malcolm, the events of the last few days were anything but over. 

“I lied to you.” The statement was barely a whisper.

“You were made to choose between duty and loyalty,” Archer pointed out. “That's a decision no-one should be forced to make.”

“After everything …” The pain in Malcolm's voice felt physical. “After all we've been through, after the Expanse … You were right, I'm a disgrace to everything this uniform stands for.”

“You are one of my finest officers, Malcolm,” said Archer. “I've trusted you with my life more times than I can remember, and I'd do so again without question.”

“I betrayed you!”

Archer considered him for a moment. “Malcolm,” he said gently, “did I mention that I forgive you?”

For a second he seemed still. Then Archer realised that, quietly and with the minimum of fuss, Malcolm was crying. Head bowed, starlight glinted off his tears as they fell. 

Archer gave him a minute, then got to his feet. Arm around Malcolm's shoulders, he held him. He remembered the last time he had comforted him like this, waiting for execution on an alien planet. He had been calm then. Archer knew that, in his usual state, Malcolm would be horrified at his present vulnerability; so he said nothing further, only held him as his tears grew less.

Finally, Malcolm scrubbed his eyes. “I'm sorry, Captain,” he said.

“Don't worry about it,” Archer said, lightly. He nodded at the table. “Your milk's gotten a little cold.”

“I never did care for it, anyway.”

They parted in the corridor outside the Mess Hall. 

“Sleep well, Malcolm.” Archer laid a hand again briefly on his shoulder.

“You too, Captain,” Malcolm replied.

As he made his way back to his quarters, for the first time in days Archer knew that he would.


End file.
